In this activity, you will explore assertiveness. This powerful way of being creates great results, strengthens relationships, and builds self-esteem.
1. Write three different responses to the instructor described in the following situation.
placating: Oh... okay then. It's probably better that I'm not in this class anyway, It seems to hard for me.
blaming: What the hell is your problem? You're seriously not going to let me be in this class? So now because of YOU, I have to wait til next year to graduate.
leveling: I'm sorry professor, I know I should have been more responsible by making sure I was added to your class, but is there anyway I can add the class? I'll stay however long you need me to to show you that I'm dedicated.
Now, think about one of your most challenging academic goals. Decide who could help you with this goal. Write a letter to this person and request assistance.
Remember, for effective requests, use the DAPPS rule.
Dear mom,
My most challenging academic goal for this semester is to pass my Sociology class with a C or better by December 11, 2010. Passing my sociology class is an important stepping stone in my dream, because I need to pass this pre-requisite so I can enter the nursing program next year. My dream is to become a success Mental Health Nurse and this is important to me because I feel like this is what I was meant to do. I want to do anything I can possible do to make this dream come true, and with a little help and guidance from you, I know I can make this dream become a reality. My obstacles are reading my chapter every week, getting up every Friday morning at 6am so I can make it to class by 8am, and studying the material for my upcoming quizzes and tests. I believe that you can help me overcome these obstacles because you are the only person that is not afraid to tell me when I am slacking off, and you are the only person that cares enough about me and my success as much as I do. You inspire me to be successful, and to get my tasks done, and I feel that with a little push from you, I will be able to do this. I'm reluctant to ask you for help with this because I am an adult now, and I know I should be able to do all this on my own, but I feel like I still need you to motivate me when I don't feel like doing something. I would like for you to get on me if you see me slacking off, and I would like you to remind me of the importance of the goal that I am working towards.
3.Write about what you have learned or relearned about being assertive.
After doing these activities I realizes that I have not been very assertive towards my goals and dreams. I'm kind of just going through the motions right now to get through this semester but I don't think I actually understood that this will all affect me in enrolling in the nursing program. Learning how I haven't been very responsible disappoints me, but I'm motivated enough to get back on track. These activities and these classes have truly helped me see the way I am and what I need to do to change. I used to blame but now I'm leveling. I never really placated, because to be honest, I never felt like anything was really my fault, which is why I used to blame so much. But now I know to put my goals before others goals. Nobody is going to do my goals for me. So from now on I will help when I can, but if something that is more important for me needs to get done then I will do what's best for me first.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Journal Entry #16
In this activity, you will explore your beliefs and behaviors regarding giving and receiving.
1. Write and complete the following ten sentence stems:
Remember, to squeeze the most learning from your effort, dive deep!
For the most part I think my relationships are interdependent. I have no problem asking people I am close to and people who I know well, to help me when I need help. I help them with what they need help with and they help me. If its a school matter, and I don't understand, I'll usually ask the teacher later, or try to figure it out from myself, because I am not comfortable asking for help from people that I don't know well. There are some instances where I have been codependent, and I have put others needs before my own, but I learned from those mistakes, and I try to be different and make sure the favors I do for others don't affect me negatively in any way. But overall, I think my relationships are healthy. I'm not too dependent on others, and others aren't too dependent on me.
1. Write and complete the following ten sentence stems:
- A specific situation when someone assisted me was when I was learning how to drive.
- A specific situation when I assisted someone else was when I helped them write an essay.
- A specific situation when I made assisting someone else more important than my own success and happiness was when I was late to class because I picked my sister up from school early.
- When someone asks me for assistance, I usually feel like I want to help them.
- When I think of asking someone else for assistance I usually feel like I don't want them to feel like I am bugging them.
- What usually gets in the way of my asking for help is fear of rejection.
- If I often asked other people for assistance it would help clarify the things I have problems with doing on my own.
- If I joyfully gave assistance to others they would come to me a lot more when they need help with something.
- If I gratefully accepted assistance from others I could get things done faster, and the right way.
- One goal that I could use assistance with today is getting the house clean by the time my mom comes home.
Remember, to squeeze the most learning from your effort, dive deep!
For the most part I think my relationships are interdependent. I have no problem asking people I am close to and people who I know well, to help me when I need help. I help them with what they need help with and they help me. If its a school matter, and I don't understand, I'll usually ask the teacher later, or try to figure it out from myself, because I am not comfortable asking for help from people that I don't know well. There are some instances where I have been codependent, and I have put others needs before my own, but I learned from those mistakes, and I try to be different and make sure the favors I do for others don't affect me negatively in any way. But overall, I think my relationships are healthy. I'm not too dependent on others, and others aren't too dependent on me.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Journal Entry #15
In this activity, you will practice ways to increase your self-confidence. Self confident people expect success, which in turn strengthens their motivation and fuels their energy. If what they're doing isn't working,they don't quit. Instead, they switch to plan B (or C or D) and persist. Then they finish strong, consistently giving their best to achieve their goals and dreams! In this way, the very success they expect often becomes a reality.
1. List the successes you have created in your life.
3. List positive risks that you have taken in your life.
Its Friday October 22, 2010 and I am calling Whittier Village Cinemas to see if they have my position opened yet. I'm at my house sitting on the couch, nervously waiting for the Manager, Derrick, to answer. Derrick finally answers and I say Hi Derrick this is Amber Villa calling again to see if that position is open yet. He says oh yes Amber I'm glad you called, why don't you come in to fill out some paperwork so we can get you started? I feel relieved and proud of myself. Finally, I'm going to start working again. I was so nervous to call but it all paid off in the end.
As a model for your writing, reread the positive visualization on page 126.
1. List the successes you have created in your life.
- Graduating high school
- Getting my first job
- Making Honor Roll
- Getting my license
- Finding my second job.
- Making my Catholic Confirmation
- I can easily make people laugh
- I can cook breakfast and dinner food very well
- I can make people feel better when they are sad
- I give great advice
- I can text fast
- I am computer savvy
3. List positive risks that you have taken in your life.
- giving a speech while running for student council
- continuously calling an employer until I got the job
- tried out for varsity softball
- taking on 4 classes my first semester here at Rio
- Calling my new employer again tomorrow to see if the position is open yet.
- Going to sociology class tomorrow because my teacher is very intimidating
- Getting my sociology midterm grade back because I need a good grade.
- Making it on time to 8am class tomorrow
Its Friday October 22, 2010 and I am calling Whittier Village Cinemas to see if they have my position opened yet. I'm at my house sitting on the couch, nervously waiting for the Manager, Derrick, to answer. Derrick finally answers and I say Hi Derrick this is Amber Villa calling again to see if that position is open yet. He says oh yes Amber I'm glad you called, why don't you come in to fill out some paperwork so we can get you started? I feel relieved and proud of myself. Finally, I'm going to start working again. I was so nervous to call but it all paid off in the end.
As a model for your writing, reread the positive visualization on page 126.
Journal Entry #14
In this activity you will apply self-discipline by planning and carrying out a thirty-two day commitment that will help you achieve a goal in college. Making and keeping a thirty-two day commitment has a number of benefits. First, it guarantees that you spend significant time on task, which is essential to college success. Second, a thirty-two day commitment automatically provides distributed practice, one of the keys to deep and lasting learning. And third, it helps you make visible progress toward your goal, thus raising your expectations of success and your motivation to persist.
1. From your life plan in journal entry #9, copy one of your most important and challenging short-term goals from your roles as a student.
As a student my short-term goals is to pass all my classes, and ace as many of them as I can by December 11, 2010.
2. Write and complete the following sentence stem five or more times: I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY!...
4. Write your thoughts and feelings as you begin your thirty-two day commitment.
It may sound corny, but I think not having my cell phone on in class is actually going to be better for me. I only have one boring class, and that's math. Math is the only class I use my phone in. I think I use it because I feel like I am not really missing out on anything if I'm able to take notes, do my work, and text. I'm always texting in that class but I will turn off my phone and pay attention to class. After all, I'm paying to learn, not to text in class. I think it will be hard, but I think I can do it. I should probably just leave my phone in the car so that it's not even a temptation. I think I will succeed but it will definitely be hard.
1. From your life plan in journal entry #9, copy one of your most important and challenging short-term goals from your roles as a student.
As a student my short-term goals is to pass all my classes, and ace as many of them as I can by December 11, 2010.
2. Write and complete the following sentence stem five or more times: I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY!...
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I do my homework and studying BEFORE fun with my friends and boyfriend.
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I go to class and not make up excuses for why I cant go
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I stay for all my classes and don't leave early.
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I got enough sleep so that I could focus completely in school
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I turned off my cell phone so that it would not be a distraction.
3. On a separate page in your journal, create a 32 day commitment Form or attach a photocopy of the one on page 121. Complete the sentence at the top of the form ("Because I know...") with ONE action from your list in step 2.
Because I know that this commitment will keep me on course to my goals, I promise myself that every day for the next 32 days I will take the following action: turning off my phone in class so I can concentrate.
4. Write your thoughts and feelings as you begin your thirty-two day commitment.
It may sound corny, but I think not having my cell phone on in class is actually going to be better for me. I only have one boring class, and that's math. Math is the only class I use my phone in. I think I use it because I feel like I am not really missing out on anything if I'm able to take notes, do my work, and text. I'm always texting in that class but I will turn off my phone and pay attention to class. After all, I'm paying to learn, not to text in class. I think it will be hard, but I think I can do it. I should probably just leave my phone in the car so that it's not even a temptation. I think I will succeed but it will definitely be hard.
IMPORTANT: If you miss a day on your 32-day commitment form, don't judge yourself or offer excuses. Simply ask your inner guide what got you off course, renew your commitment to yourself, and start over at Day 1.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Journal Entry #11
In this activity, you will create a personal affirmation. If yourepeat your affirmation often, it will help you make choices that will strengthen the personal qualities needed to achieve your goals and dreams.
1. Write a one-sentence statement of one of your most motivations, goals, or dreams in your role as a student. (career)
My biggest goal to achieve in my career is to know that I made a difference in someone's life and inspired them to be the best they can be.
2. Write a list of personal qualities that would help you achieve this educational goal or dream.
compassionate, good-listener, and encouraging.
4. Write three versions of your personal affirmation
Format A: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman.
Format B: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, following my life calling.
Format C: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
5. Choose the one sentence from Step 4 that you like best and write that sentence five or more times.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
6. Write three paragraphs- one for each of the three qualities in your affirmation.
You can add creativity to your journal by writing your affirmation with colors, maybe adding pictures or key words cut out from magazines, drawings of your own, clip art, or quoations that appeal to you
The first quality from my affirmation is compassion. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated that quality was when my friends grandfather passed away. I was there for her at school, nearly everyday after school, and as much as I possibly could. He was like a father to her, and the family took it very hard. I showed compassion towards them, by being there to help cheer them up and help them move on. I was there to help her get her mind off things, and I was there for her when she was grieving and needed a shoulder to cry on. This is just one of the many times that I have been compassionate. I think that I am naturally a compassionate person. I always have been since I was young. I have a big heart and when others hurt, I hurt and I want to do anything I can to make them feel better.
The second quality from my affirmation is good-listening. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was when my best friend told me her boyfriend cheated on her. It took her quite awhile to get over the pain. But I dindn't complain once. I didnt mind talking about with her everyday, and Im glad that she felt like she could come to me to let her pain out. I listened and gave her my opinion, and what I like to think is good advice. I'm always there to listen to people's problems. If they are going through something and I feel like I can help them, then I'm all for it.
The third quality from my affirmation is encouraging. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was the same instance I mention before about my friend's boyfriend cheating on her. She was very sad and felt like she wouldn't be able to move on with her life, but I assured her that she would be able to. I told her there were plenty of other people out in the world that would love to date her and treat her the way she should be treated. I gave her hope, in a sense, because she was a complete mess, and who would blame her. She was hurt and sad, but I encouraged her to move on with her life and just learn from the experience. I would love to be the reason why someone gets something accomplished in their life. Just knowing that I had even a little part in their right decision would satisfy me.
1. Write a one-sentence statement of one of your most motivations, goals, or dreams in your role as a student. (career)
My biggest goal to achieve in my career is to know that I made a difference in someone's life and inspired them to be the best they can be.
2. Write a list of personal qualities that would help you achieve this educational goal or dream.
- compassionate
- dedicated
- good-listener
- encouraging
- understanding
- caring
- easy to talk to
- willing to help in any way I can
compassionate, good-listener, and encouraging.
4. Write three versions of your personal affirmation
Format A: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman.
Format B: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, following my life calling.
Format C: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
5. Choose the one sentence from Step 4 that you like best and write that sentence five or more times.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
6. Write three paragraphs- one for each of the three qualities in your affirmation.
You can add creativity to your journal by writing your affirmation with colors, maybe adding pictures or key words cut out from magazines, drawings of your own, clip art, or quoations that appeal to you
The first quality from my affirmation is compassion. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated that quality was when my friends grandfather passed away. I was there for her at school, nearly everyday after school, and as much as I possibly could. He was like a father to her, and the family took it very hard. I showed compassion towards them, by being there to help cheer them up and help them move on. I was there to help her get her mind off things, and I was there for her when she was grieving and needed a shoulder to cry on. This is just one of the many times that I have been compassionate. I think that I am naturally a compassionate person. I always have been since I was young. I have a big heart and when others hurt, I hurt and I want to do anything I can to make them feel better.
The second quality from my affirmation is good-listening. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was when my best friend told me her boyfriend cheated on her. It took her quite awhile to get over the pain. But I dindn't complain once. I didnt mind talking about with her everyday, and Im glad that she felt like she could come to me to let her pain out. I listened and gave her my opinion, and what I like to think is good advice. I'm always there to listen to people's problems. If they are going through something and I feel like I can help them, then I'm all for it.
The third quality from my affirmation is encouraging. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was the same instance I mention before about my friend's boyfriend cheating on her. She was very sad and felt like she wouldn't be able to move on with her life, but I assured her that she would be able to. I told her there were plenty of other people out in the world that would love to date her and treat her the way she should be treated. I gave her hope, in a sense, because she was a complete mess, and who would blame her. She was hurt and sad, but I encouraged her to move on with her life and just learn from the experience. I would love to be the reason why someone gets something accomplished in their life. Just knowing that I had even a little part in their right decision would satisfy me.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Journal Entry #10
In this activity, you will visualize the accomplishment of one of your most important goals or dreams. Once you vividly picture this ideal outcome, you will have strengthened your commitment to achieve it, and you will know how to do the same thing with all of your goals and dreams.
1. Write a visualization of the exact moment in the future when you are experiencing the accomplishment of your biggest goal or dream in your role as a student. (career)
I am dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white button up blouse. It smells like air freshener and paper. I have my clipboard and paper ready when a young boy walks in and tells me he has been going down the wrong path, and that he is ready to turn his life around and change it. Finally, my first client as a mental health nurse. All I've ever wanted was to help people and now its finally happening. He is telling me how he wants to enroll back in school and find a job, and I assure him that I will help him achieve those goals. So he sits down and we start talking. He starts to tell me about his past and how he got to be the way he is now. I find out information on why he made the decisions he did based on the details of his past. As our session comes to an end, he thanks me and tells me he has a really good feeling about meeting with me. I feel completely satisfied and accomplished. I'm finally able to start making differences in people's lives.
For visual appeal, consider also drawing a picture of your goal or dream in your journal. Or cut pictures from magazines and use them to illustrate your writing. If you are writing in your journal on a computer, consider adding clip art that depicts your visualization. Allow your creativity to support your dream.
Remember the four keys to an effective visualization:
1. Relax to free your imagination
2. Use present- tense verbs... the experience is happening now!
3.Use all five senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, feel, and touch?
4. Include emotion.
Read your visualizations often. Ideal times are right before you go to sleep and when you first awake in the morning. You may even wish to record your visualizations and listen to them often.
1. Write a visualization of the exact moment in the future when you are experiencing the accomplishment of your biggest goal or dream in your role as a student. (career)
I am dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white button up blouse. It smells like air freshener and paper. I have my clipboard and paper ready when a young boy walks in and tells me he has been going down the wrong path, and that he is ready to turn his life around and change it. Finally, my first client as a mental health nurse. All I've ever wanted was to help people and now its finally happening. He is telling me how he wants to enroll back in school and find a job, and I assure him that I will help him achieve those goals. So he sits down and we start talking. He starts to tell me about his past and how he got to be the way he is now. I find out information on why he made the decisions he did based on the details of his past. As our session comes to an end, he thanks me and tells me he has a really good feeling about meeting with me. I feel completely satisfied and accomplished. I'm finally able to start making differences in people's lives.
For visual appeal, consider also drawing a picture of your goal or dream in your journal. Or cut pictures from magazines and use them to illustrate your writing. If you are writing in your journal on a computer, consider adding clip art that depicts your visualization. Allow your creativity to support your dream.
Remember the four keys to an effective visualization:
1. Relax to free your imagination
2. Use present- tense verbs... the experience is happening now!
3.Use all five senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, feel, and touch?
4. Include emotion.
Read your visualizations often. Ideal times are right before you go to sleep and when you first awake in the morning. You may even wish to record your visualizations and listen to them often.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Journal Entry #9
In this activity, you will design one or more parts of your life plan. To focus your thoughts, glance back at Pilar's life plan and use it as a model.
1. Title a new page in your journal: MY LIFE PLAN. Below the title, complete the part of your life plan for your role as a student (career.)
My Dream: My dream is to be successful in a career that I love and look forward to going to everyday. I also want to get married, live in a nice big house, and have about 5 children. I know this seems pretty vague, but this all that I know I definately want in the future.
My Life Role: Currently I am just a collge student but in the Future I want to be the helper, and the go-to person in my career. I want to be a mother figure and I want people to feel like they can come to me for anything they need.
My Long-Term Goals in This Role:
My long term goals in my career are to
My long term goals as a college student are to
My Short-Term Goals in This Role: As a student my short-term goals are to
2. Write about what you have learned or relearned by designing your life plan.
By doing the life plan, I realized that I am going to have to work very hard to achieve my dream, meaning, I need to take school very seriously so that I can start my career as soon as possible. My long term goals are going to take a lot of dedication and sacrifiing to achieve them, but I know I can do it. In a previous hournal I stated that my change starts today, so from now on the choices that I make will have to benefit me and my goals somehow in the future. It's not just about getting through this semester, It's about excelling in every semester to come and doing the best I can in all of my classes. In terms of a career, I am extremely excited for when that day comes. I want to be needed and I want people to ask me for help. I learned that the hopes for my careers can become realities if I follow through with this life plan.
1. Title a new page in your journal: MY LIFE PLAN. Below the title, complete the part of your life plan for your role as a student (career.)
My Dream: My dream is to be successful in a career that I love and look forward to going to everyday. I also want to get married, live in a nice big house, and have about 5 children. I know this seems pretty vague, but this all that I know I definately want in the future.
My Life Role: Currently I am just a collge student but in the Future I want to be the helper, and the go-to person in my career. I want to be a mother figure and I want people to feel like they can come to me for anything they need.
My Long-Term Goals in This Role:
My long term goals in my career are to
- help troubled youth, or anyone that needs mental help. I want to inspire them and encourage them to do the best they can in their lives.
- I want to give hope to anyone that needs hope.
- I want to Make good money and be able to support my family.
- I want to know that I made a difference in someone's life.
My long term goals as a college student are to
- excel and graduate as soon as possible so that I can dive into my career and start helping people around 2013.
- Achieve an Associate Degree by 2013
My Short-Term Goals in This Role: As a student my short-term goals are to
- pass all my classes, and ace as many of them as I can by December 11.
- Finish all the essays I have to write as soon as I can by the end of next week.
- Enjoy this first semester of college before its over.
2. Write about what you have learned or relearned by designing your life plan.
By doing the life plan, I realized that I am going to have to work very hard to achieve my dream, meaning, I need to take school very seriously so that I can start my career as soon as possible. My long term goals are going to take a lot of dedication and sacrifiing to achieve them, but I know I can do it. In a previous hournal I stated that my change starts today, so from now on the choices that I make will have to benefit me and my goals somehow in the future. It's not just about getting through this semester, It's about excelling in every semester to come and doing the best I can in all of my classes. In terms of a career, I am extremely excited for when that day comes. I want to be needed and I want people to ask me for help. I learned that the hopes for my careers can become realities if I follow through with this life plan.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)