In this activity, you will explore assertiveness. This powerful way of being creates great results, strengthens relationships, and builds self-esteem.
1. Write three different responses to the instructor described in the following situation.
placating: Oh... okay then. It's probably better that I'm not in this class anyway, It seems to hard for me.
blaming: What the hell is your problem? You're seriously not going to let me be in this class? So now because of YOU, I have to wait til next year to graduate.
leveling: I'm sorry professor, I know I should have been more responsible by making sure I was added to your class, but is there anyway I can add the class? I'll stay however long you need me to to show you that I'm dedicated.
Now, think about one of your most challenging academic goals. Decide who could help you with this goal. Write a letter to this person and request assistance.
Remember, for effective requests, use the DAPPS rule.
Dear mom,
My most challenging academic goal for this semester is to pass my Sociology class with a C or better by December 11, 2010. Passing my sociology class is an important stepping stone in my dream, because I need to pass this pre-requisite so I can enter the nursing program next year. My dream is to become a success Mental Health Nurse and this is important to me because I feel like this is what I was meant to do. I want to do anything I can possible do to make this dream come true, and with a little help and guidance from you, I know I can make this dream become a reality. My obstacles are reading my chapter every week, getting up every Friday morning at 6am so I can make it to class by 8am, and studying the material for my upcoming quizzes and tests. I believe that you can help me overcome these obstacles because you are the only person that is not afraid to tell me when I am slacking off, and you are the only person that cares enough about me and my success as much as I do. You inspire me to be successful, and to get my tasks done, and I feel that with a little push from you, I will be able to do this. I'm reluctant to ask you for help with this because I am an adult now, and I know I should be able to do all this on my own, but I feel like I still need you to motivate me when I don't feel like doing something. I would like for you to get on me if you see me slacking off, and I would like you to remind me of the importance of the goal that I am working towards.
3.Write about what you have learned or relearned about being assertive.
After doing these activities I realizes that I have not been very assertive towards my goals and dreams. I'm kind of just going through the motions right now to get through this semester but I don't think I actually understood that this will all affect me in enrolling in the nursing program. Learning how I haven't been very responsible disappoints me, but I'm motivated enough to get back on track. These activities and these classes have truly helped me see the way I am and what I need to do to change. I used to blame but now I'm leveling. I never really placated, because to be honest, I never felt like anything was really my fault, which is why I used to blame so much. But now I know to put my goals before others goals. Nobody is going to do my goals for me. So from now on I will help when I can, but if something that is more important for me needs to get done then I will do what's best for me first.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Journal Entry #16
In this activity, you will explore your beliefs and behaviors regarding giving and receiving.
1. Write and complete the following ten sentence stems:
Remember, to squeeze the most learning from your effort, dive deep!
For the most part I think my relationships are interdependent. I have no problem asking people I am close to and people who I know well, to help me when I need help. I help them with what they need help with and they help me. If its a school matter, and I don't understand, I'll usually ask the teacher later, or try to figure it out from myself, because I am not comfortable asking for help from people that I don't know well. There are some instances where I have been codependent, and I have put others needs before my own, but I learned from those mistakes, and I try to be different and make sure the favors I do for others don't affect me negatively in any way. But overall, I think my relationships are healthy. I'm not too dependent on others, and others aren't too dependent on me.
1. Write and complete the following ten sentence stems:
- A specific situation when someone assisted me was when I was learning how to drive.
- A specific situation when I assisted someone else was when I helped them write an essay.
- A specific situation when I made assisting someone else more important than my own success and happiness was when I was late to class because I picked my sister up from school early.
- When someone asks me for assistance, I usually feel like I want to help them.
- When I think of asking someone else for assistance I usually feel like I don't want them to feel like I am bugging them.
- What usually gets in the way of my asking for help is fear of rejection.
- If I often asked other people for assistance it would help clarify the things I have problems with doing on my own.
- If I joyfully gave assistance to others they would come to me a lot more when they need help with something.
- If I gratefully accepted assistance from others I could get things done faster, and the right way.
- One goal that I could use assistance with today is getting the house clean by the time my mom comes home.
Remember, to squeeze the most learning from your effort, dive deep!
For the most part I think my relationships are interdependent. I have no problem asking people I am close to and people who I know well, to help me when I need help. I help them with what they need help with and they help me. If its a school matter, and I don't understand, I'll usually ask the teacher later, or try to figure it out from myself, because I am not comfortable asking for help from people that I don't know well. There are some instances where I have been codependent, and I have put others needs before my own, but I learned from those mistakes, and I try to be different and make sure the favors I do for others don't affect me negatively in any way. But overall, I think my relationships are healthy. I'm not too dependent on others, and others aren't too dependent on me.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Journal Entry #15
In this activity, you will practice ways to increase your self-confidence. Self confident people expect success, which in turn strengthens their motivation and fuels their energy. If what they're doing isn't working,they don't quit. Instead, they switch to plan B (or C or D) and persist. Then they finish strong, consistently giving their best to achieve their goals and dreams! In this way, the very success they expect often becomes a reality.
1. List the successes you have created in your life.
3. List positive risks that you have taken in your life.
Its Friday October 22, 2010 and I am calling Whittier Village Cinemas to see if they have my position opened yet. I'm at my house sitting on the couch, nervously waiting for the Manager, Derrick, to answer. Derrick finally answers and I say Hi Derrick this is Amber Villa calling again to see if that position is open yet. He says oh yes Amber I'm glad you called, why don't you come in to fill out some paperwork so we can get you started? I feel relieved and proud of myself. Finally, I'm going to start working again. I was so nervous to call but it all paid off in the end.
As a model for your writing, reread the positive visualization on page 126.
1. List the successes you have created in your life.
- Graduating high school
- Getting my first job
- Making Honor Roll
- Getting my license
- Finding my second job.
- Making my Catholic Confirmation
- I can easily make people laugh
- I can cook breakfast and dinner food very well
- I can make people feel better when they are sad
- I give great advice
- I can text fast
- I am computer savvy
3. List positive risks that you have taken in your life.
- giving a speech while running for student council
- continuously calling an employer until I got the job
- tried out for varsity softball
- taking on 4 classes my first semester here at Rio
- Calling my new employer again tomorrow to see if the position is open yet.
- Going to sociology class tomorrow because my teacher is very intimidating
- Getting my sociology midterm grade back because I need a good grade.
- Making it on time to 8am class tomorrow
Its Friday October 22, 2010 and I am calling Whittier Village Cinemas to see if they have my position opened yet. I'm at my house sitting on the couch, nervously waiting for the Manager, Derrick, to answer. Derrick finally answers and I say Hi Derrick this is Amber Villa calling again to see if that position is open yet. He says oh yes Amber I'm glad you called, why don't you come in to fill out some paperwork so we can get you started? I feel relieved and proud of myself. Finally, I'm going to start working again. I was so nervous to call but it all paid off in the end.
As a model for your writing, reread the positive visualization on page 126.
Journal Entry #14
In this activity you will apply self-discipline by planning and carrying out a thirty-two day commitment that will help you achieve a goal in college. Making and keeping a thirty-two day commitment has a number of benefits. First, it guarantees that you spend significant time on task, which is essential to college success. Second, a thirty-two day commitment automatically provides distributed practice, one of the keys to deep and lasting learning. And third, it helps you make visible progress toward your goal, thus raising your expectations of success and your motivation to persist.
1. From your life plan in journal entry #9, copy one of your most important and challenging short-term goals from your roles as a student.
As a student my short-term goals is to pass all my classes, and ace as many of them as I can by December 11, 2010.
2. Write and complete the following sentence stem five or more times: I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY!...
4. Write your thoughts and feelings as you begin your thirty-two day commitment.
It may sound corny, but I think not having my cell phone on in class is actually going to be better for me. I only have one boring class, and that's math. Math is the only class I use my phone in. I think I use it because I feel like I am not really missing out on anything if I'm able to take notes, do my work, and text. I'm always texting in that class but I will turn off my phone and pay attention to class. After all, I'm paying to learn, not to text in class. I think it will be hard, but I think I can do it. I should probably just leave my phone in the car so that it's not even a temptation. I think I will succeed but it will definitely be hard.
1. From your life plan in journal entry #9, copy one of your most important and challenging short-term goals from your roles as a student.
As a student my short-term goals is to pass all my classes, and ace as many of them as I can by December 11, 2010.
2. Write and complete the following sentence stem five or more times: I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY!...
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I do my homework and studying BEFORE fun with my friends and boyfriend.
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I go to class and not make up excuses for why I cant go
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I stay for all my classes and don't leave early.
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I got enough sleep so that I could focus completely in school
- I WOULD MOVE STEADILY TOWARD THIS GOAL IF EVERY DAY I turned off my cell phone so that it would not be a distraction.
3. On a separate page in your journal, create a 32 day commitment Form or attach a photocopy of the one on page 121. Complete the sentence at the top of the form ("Because I know...") with ONE action from your list in step 2.
Because I know that this commitment will keep me on course to my goals, I promise myself that every day for the next 32 days I will take the following action: turning off my phone in class so I can concentrate.
4. Write your thoughts and feelings as you begin your thirty-two day commitment.
It may sound corny, but I think not having my cell phone on in class is actually going to be better for me. I only have one boring class, and that's math. Math is the only class I use my phone in. I think I use it because I feel like I am not really missing out on anything if I'm able to take notes, do my work, and text. I'm always texting in that class but I will turn off my phone and pay attention to class. After all, I'm paying to learn, not to text in class. I think it will be hard, but I think I can do it. I should probably just leave my phone in the car so that it's not even a temptation. I think I will succeed but it will definitely be hard.
IMPORTANT: If you miss a day on your 32-day commitment form, don't judge yourself or offer excuses. Simply ask your inner guide what got you off course, renew your commitment to yourself, and start over at Day 1.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Journal Entry #11
In this activity, you will create a personal affirmation. If yourepeat your affirmation often, it will help you make choices that will strengthen the personal qualities needed to achieve your goals and dreams.
1. Write a one-sentence statement of one of your most motivations, goals, or dreams in your role as a student. (career)
My biggest goal to achieve in my career is to know that I made a difference in someone's life and inspired them to be the best they can be.
2. Write a list of personal qualities that would help you achieve this educational goal or dream.
compassionate, good-listener, and encouraging.
4. Write three versions of your personal affirmation
Format A: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman.
Format B: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, following my life calling.
Format C: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
5. Choose the one sentence from Step 4 that you like best and write that sentence five or more times.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
6. Write three paragraphs- one for each of the three qualities in your affirmation.
You can add creativity to your journal by writing your affirmation with colors, maybe adding pictures or key words cut out from magazines, drawings of your own, clip art, or quoations that appeal to you
The first quality from my affirmation is compassion. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated that quality was when my friends grandfather passed away. I was there for her at school, nearly everyday after school, and as much as I possibly could. He was like a father to her, and the family took it very hard. I showed compassion towards them, by being there to help cheer them up and help them move on. I was there to help her get her mind off things, and I was there for her when she was grieving and needed a shoulder to cry on. This is just one of the many times that I have been compassionate. I think that I am naturally a compassionate person. I always have been since I was young. I have a big heart and when others hurt, I hurt and I want to do anything I can to make them feel better.
The second quality from my affirmation is good-listening. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was when my best friend told me her boyfriend cheated on her. It took her quite awhile to get over the pain. But I dindn't complain once. I didnt mind talking about with her everyday, and Im glad that she felt like she could come to me to let her pain out. I listened and gave her my opinion, and what I like to think is good advice. I'm always there to listen to people's problems. If they are going through something and I feel like I can help them, then I'm all for it.
The third quality from my affirmation is encouraging. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was the same instance I mention before about my friend's boyfriend cheating on her. She was very sad and felt like she wouldn't be able to move on with her life, but I assured her that she would be able to. I told her there were plenty of other people out in the world that would love to date her and treat her the way she should be treated. I gave her hope, in a sense, because she was a complete mess, and who would blame her. She was hurt and sad, but I encouraged her to move on with her life and just learn from the experience. I would love to be the reason why someone gets something accomplished in their life. Just knowing that I had even a little part in their right decision would satisfy me.
1. Write a one-sentence statement of one of your most motivations, goals, or dreams in your role as a student. (career)
My biggest goal to achieve in my career is to know that I made a difference in someone's life and inspired them to be the best they can be.
2. Write a list of personal qualities that would help you achieve this educational goal or dream.
- compassionate
- dedicated
- good-listener
- encouraging
- understanding
- caring
- easy to talk to
- willing to help in any way I can
compassionate, good-listener, and encouraging.
4. Write three versions of your personal affirmation
Format A: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman.
Format B: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, following my life calling.
Format C: I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
5. Choose the one sentence from Step 4 that you like best and write that sentence five or more times.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
I am a compassionate, good-listening, encouraging woman, and I enjoy feeling needed.
6. Write three paragraphs- one for each of the three qualities in your affirmation.
You can add creativity to your journal by writing your affirmation with colors, maybe adding pictures or key words cut out from magazines, drawings of your own, clip art, or quoations that appeal to you
The first quality from my affirmation is compassion. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated that quality was when my friends grandfather passed away. I was there for her at school, nearly everyday after school, and as much as I possibly could. He was like a father to her, and the family took it very hard. I showed compassion towards them, by being there to help cheer them up and help them move on. I was there to help her get her mind off things, and I was there for her when she was grieving and needed a shoulder to cry on. This is just one of the many times that I have been compassionate. I think that I am naturally a compassionate person. I always have been since I was young. I have a big heart and when others hurt, I hurt and I want to do anything I can to make them feel better.
The second quality from my affirmation is good-listening. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was when my best friend told me her boyfriend cheated on her. It took her quite awhile to get over the pain. But I dindn't complain once. I didnt mind talking about with her everyday, and Im glad that she felt like she could come to me to let her pain out. I listened and gave her my opinion, and what I like to think is good advice. I'm always there to listen to people's problems. If they are going through something and I feel like I can help them, then I'm all for it.
The third quality from my affirmation is encouraging. A specific experience in my life when I demonstrated this was the same instance I mention before about my friend's boyfriend cheating on her. She was very sad and felt like she wouldn't be able to move on with her life, but I assured her that she would be able to. I told her there were plenty of other people out in the world that would love to date her and treat her the way she should be treated. I gave her hope, in a sense, because she was a complete mess, and who would blame her. She was hurt and sad, but I encouraged her to move on with her life and just learn from the experience. I would love to be the reason why someone gets something accomplished in their life. Just knowing that I had even a little part in their right decision would satisfy me.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Journal Entry #10
In this activity, you will visualize the accomplishment of one of your most important goals or dreams. Once you vividly picture this ideal outcome, you will have strengthened your commitment to achieve it, and you will know how to do the same thing with all of your goals and dreams.
1. Write a visualization of the exact moment in the future when you are experiencing the accomplishment of your biggest goal or dream in your role as a student. (career)
I am dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white button up blouse. It smells like air freshener and paper. I have my clipboard and paper ready when a young boy walks in and tells me he has been going down the wrong path, and that he is ready to turn his life around and change it. Finally, my first client as a mental health nurse. All I've ever wanted was to help people and now its finally happening. He is telling me how he wants to enroll back in school and find a job, and I assure him that I will help him achieve those goals. So he sits down and we start talking. He starts to tell me about his past and how he got to be the way he is now. I find out information on why he made the decisions he did based on the details of his past. As our session comes to an end, he thanks me and tells me he has a really good feeling about meeting with me. I feel completely satisfied and accomplished. I'm finally able to start making differences in people's lives.
For visual appeal, consider also drawing a picture of your goal or dream in your journal. Or cut pictures from magazines and use them to illustrate your writing. If you are writing in your journal on a computer, consider adding clip art that depicts your visualization. Allow your creativity to support your dream.
Remember the four keys to an effective visualization:
1. Relax to free your imagination
2. Use present- tense verbs... the experience is happening now!
3.Use all five senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, feel, and touch?
4. Include emotion.
Read your visualizations often. Ideal times are right before you go to sleep and when you first awake in the morning. You may even wish to record your visualizations and listen to them often.
1. Write a visualization of the exact moment in the future when you are experiencing the accomplishment of your biggest goal or dream in your role as a student. (career)
I am dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white button up blouse. It smells like air freshener and paper. I have my clipboard and paper ready when a young boy walks in and tells me he has been going down the wrong path, and that he is ready to turn his life around and change it. Finally, my first client as a mental health nurse. All I've ever wanted was to help people and now its finally happening. He is telling me how he wants to enroll back in school and find a job, and I assure him that I will help him achieve those goals. So he sits down and we start talking. He starts to tell me about his past and how he got to be the way he is now. I find out information on why he made the decisions he did based on the details of his past. As our session comes to an end, he thanks me and tells me he has a really good feeling about meeting with me. I feel completely satisfied and accomplished. I'm finally able to start making differences in people's lives.
For visual appeal, consider also drawing a picture of your goal or dream in your journal. Or cut pictures from magazines and use them to illustrate your writing. If you are writing in your journal on a computer, consider adding clip art that depicts your visualization. Allow your creativity to support your dream.
Remember the four keys to an effective visualization:
1. Relax to free your imagination
2. Use present- tense verbs... the experience is happening now!
3.Use all five senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, feel, and touch?
4. Include emotion.
Read your visualizations often. Ideal times are right before you go to sleep and when you first awake in the morning. You may even wish to record your visualizations and listen to them often.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Journal Entry #9
In this activity, you will design one or more parts of your life plan. To focus your thoughts, glance back at Pilar's life plan and use it as a model.
1. Title a new page in your journal: MY LIFE PLAN. Below the title, complete the part of your life plan for your role as a student (career.)
My Dream: My dream is to be successful in a career that I love and look forward to going to everyday. I also want to get married, live in a nice big house, and have about 5 children. I know this seems pretty vague, but this all that I know I definately want in the future.
My Life Role: Currently I am just a collge student but in the Future I want to be the helper, and the go-to person in my career. I want to be a mother figure and I want people to feel like they can come to me for anything they need.
My Long-Term Goals in This Role:
My long term goals in my career are to
My long term goals as a college student are to
My Short-Term Goals in This Role: As a student my short-term goals are to
2. Write about what you have learned or relearned by designing your life plan.
By doing the life plan, I realized that I am going to have to work very hard to achieve my dream, meaning, I need to take school very seriously so that I can start my career as soon as possible. My long term goals are going to take a lot of dedication and sacrifiing to achieve them, but I know I can do it. In a previous hournal I stated that my change starts today, so from now on the choices that I make will have to benefit me and my goals somehow in the future. It's not just about getting through this semester, It's about excelling in every semester to come and doing the best I can in all of my classes. In terms of a career, I am extremely excited for when that day comes. I want to be needed and I want people to ask me for help. I learned that the hopes for my careers can become realities if I follow through with this life plan.
1. Title a new page in your journal: MY LIFE PLAN. Below the title, complete the part of your life plan for your role as a student (career.)
My Dream: My dream is to be successful in a career that I love and look forward to going to everyday. I also want to get married, live in a nice big house, and have about 5 children. I know this seems pretty vague, but this all that I know I definately want in the future.
My Life Role: Currently I am just a collge student but in the Future I want to be the helper, and the go-to person in my career. I want to be a mother figure and I want people to feel like they can come to me for anything they need.
My Long-Term Goals in This Role:
My long term goals in my career are to
- help troubled youth, or anyone that needs mental help. I want to inspire them and encourage them to do the best they can in their lives.
- I want to give hope to anyone that needs hope.
- I want to Make good money and be able to support my family.
- I want to know that I made a difference in someone's life.
My long term goals as a college student are to
- excel and graduate as soon as possible so that I can dive into my career and start helping people around 2013.
- Achieve an Associate Degree by 2013
My Short-Term Goals in This Role: As a student my short-term goals are to
- pass all my classes, and ace as many of them as I can by December 11.
- Finish all the essays I have to write as soon as I can by the end of next week.
- Enjoy this first semester of college before its over.
2. Write about what you have learned or relearned by designing your life plan.
By doing the life plan, I realized that I am going to have to work very hard to achieve my dream, meaning, I need to take school very seriously so that I can start my career as soon as possible. My long term goals are going to take a lot of dedication and sacrifiing to achieve them, but I know I can do it. In a previous hournal I stated that my change starts today, so from now on the choices that I make will have to benefit me and my goals somehow in the future. It's not just about getting through this semester, It's about excelling in every semester to come and doing the best I can in all of my classes. In terms of a career, I am extremely excited for when that day comes. I want to be needed and I want people to ask me for help. I learned that the hopes for my careers can become realities if I follow through with this life plan.
Journal Entry # 6
In this activity you will apply the Wise Choice Process to improve a difficult situation in your life. Think about a current problem, one that you're comfortable sharing with your classmates and teacher. As a result of this problem, you may be angry, sad, frsutrated, depressed, overwhelmed, or afraid.
Perhaps this situation has to do with a grade you received, a teacher's comment, or a classmate's action. Maybe the problem relates to a relationship, a job, or money. The Wise Choice Process can help you make an empowering choice in any part of your life.
1. Write the six questions of the Wise Choice Process and answer each one as it relates to your situation
The Wise Choice Process
2. How would I like my situation to be? (What is your ideal future outcome?)
My ideal future outcome is to get my Associate degree by 2013, and dive right into my career right after I graduate. In order to achieve this, I want to have a stable part-time job that works with my schedule, and supports me throughout my college years so that I can focus on school and not have to worry about my financial stability. Ideally, I want to control all aspects of my life, and right now I feel as though I don't have a complete grasp on what to do to better my life.
3. What are my possible choices? (Create a long list of specific choices that might create your preferred outcome.)
I will start making changes in my life today October 5,2010. I want things to change now. So I need to act now. If i procrastinate on changing, it'll only take those changes longer to happen. I'm tired of feeling like I have no control over my life, and Its time for me to get back that control. If I ever feel discouraged or frustrated, I will simply refer back to this blog to encourage me to get back on track.
2. Write what you learned or relearned by doing the Wise Choice Process.
By doing the Wise Choice Process I learned that ever problem has a solution, and its up to me to make the right choice. There are many choices I can make, but I have to weigh them and see which one is the best fit for me. Earlier in this journal I mentioned feeling like I had no control over what was happening in my life, and learning this wise choice process inspires me to change and make what I want to happen, happen now. I relearned that only we can change what goes on in our life, and I am starting my change today.
Perhaps this situation has to do with a grade you received, a teacher's comment, or a classmate's action. Maybe the problem relates to a relationship, a job, or money. The Wise Choice Process can help you make an empowering choice in any part of your life.
1. Write the six questions of the Wise Choice Process and answer each one as it relates to your situation
The Wise Choice Process
- What's my present situation? (Describe the problem objectively and completely.)
2. How would I like my situation to be? (What is your ideal future outcome?)
My ideal future outcome is to get my Associate degree by 2013, and dive right into my career right after I graduate. In order to achieve this, I want to have a stable part-time job that works with my schedule, and supports me throughout my college years so that I can focus on school and not have to worry about my financial stability. Ideally, I want to control all aspects of my life, and right now I feel as though I don't have a complete grasp on what to do to better my life.
3. What are my possible choices? (Create a long list of specific choices that might create your preferred outcome.)
- Cut back on school, and spend more time on finding a job.
- Drop out of school, and work full-time
- Try harder to find a job
- Find a job, stay in school, and alleviate my stress
- Meditate and find ways to control my stress levels even if I don't have a job.
- Realize that things will get better eventually if I just apply myself.
- Keep doing what I'm doing
- If I cut back on school, and spend more time on finding a job, it'll take me longer to finish school.
- If I drop out of school I won't be able to find a career that truly suits me, and I'll end up working a job that I hate.
- It wouldn't hurt to try harder to find a job.
- Finding a job, staying in school, and getting rid of my stress would be perfect.
- Meditate and find ways to control my stress is what I should be doing so that I can focus on school.
- Realize that things will get better is relying on time to fix your problems, in a sense. and I don't want to wait. I want it to happen now.
- I am not going to keep doing what I'm doing because it is not working for me.
- I will commit to looking harder for a job
- I will commit to finding a job, staying in school, and getting rid of my stress.
- I will commiy to Meditating and finding ways to control my stress
I will start making changes in my life today October 5,2010. I want things to change now. So I need to act now. If i procrastinate on changing, it'll only take those changes longer to happen. I'm tired of feeling like I have no control over my life, and Its time for me to get back that control. If I ever feel discouraged or frustrated, I will simply refer back to this blog to encourage me to get back on track.
2. Write what you learned or relearned by doing the Wise Choice Process.
By doing the Wise Choice Process I learned that ever problem has a solution, and its up to me to make the right choice. There are many choices I can make, but I have to weigh them and see which one is the best fit for me. Earlier in this journal I mentioned feeling like I had no control over what was happening in my life, and learning this wise choice process inspires me to change and make what I want to happen, happen now. I relearned that only we can change what goes on in our life, and I am starting my change today.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Journal Entry #5
In this activity you will practice the language of personal responsibility. By learning to translate Victim statements into Creator statements, you will master the language of successful people.
1. Draw a line down the middle of a journal page. On the left side of the line, copy the ten Victim language statements found on the next page.
2. On the right side of the line, translate the Victim statements into the words of a Creator.
3. Write what you have learned or relearned about how you use language: Is it your habit to speak as Victim or as a Creator? Do you find yourself more inclined to blame yourself, blame others, or seek solutions?
While reading about practicing Creator language I learned that I tend to speak Victim Language more often. I think I speak Victim Language more often because its easier to be a Victim than a Creator. Being a Victim allows you to put the blame on others and in a sense brainwash yourself into thinking nothing is your fault, therefore there is no resolution to your problem. Being a Creator takes responsibility and courage to admit your wrongs and what you need to do to fix them. I'm not saying I am a complete Victim because there are times where I do "man up" and admit when I'm in the wrong, but I need to become fluent in Creator Language. Being fluent in Creator Language is the only way I am going to successfully make it through this world becausr resolutions solve problems, excuses don't. My goal is to stop being the victim and take action against the issues I want to fix. I plan on accomplishing this goal by focusing on school, getting a job, and successfully making my way throughout college and eventually leading to my career.
1. Draw a line down the middle of a journal page. On the left side of the line, copy the ten Victim language statements found on the next page.
2. On the right side of the line, translate the Victim statements into the words of a Creator.
Victim Language
1. If they’d do something about the parking on campus, I wouldn’t be late so often.
2. I’m failing my online class because the site is too impossible to navigate.
3. I’m too shy to ask questions in class even when I’m confused.
4. She’s a lousy instructor. That’s why I failed the first test.
5. I hate group projects because people are lazy and I always end up doing most of the work.
6. I wish I could write better, but I just can’t.
7. My friend got me so angry that I can’t even study for the exam.
8. I’ll try to do my best this semester.
9. The financial aid form is too complicated to fill out.
10. I work nights so I didn’t have time to do the assignment
1. If they’d do something about the parking on campus, I wouldn’t be late so often.
2. I’m failing my online class because the site is too impossible to navigate.
3. I’m too shy to ask questions in class even when I’m confused.
4. She’s a lousy instructor. That’s why I failed the first test.
5. I hate group projects because people are lazy and I always end up doing most of the work.
6. I wish I could write better, but I just can’t.
7. My friend got me so angry that I can’t even study for the exam.
8. I’ll try to do my best this semester.
9. The financial aid form is too complicated to fill out.
10. I work nights so I didn’t have time to do the assignment
Creator Language
1. If I got to campus a little earlier I’d have time to find parking, and make it to class on time.
2. If I view a tutorial online about my class website, or spend some extra time navigating it, I can excel in my online class.
3. If I work up the courage to ask questions in class I might be helping out other students who are too shy to ask.
4. I may have failed my first test, but if I find my own ways to learn the material, I can study and ace all my tests
5. If I don’t want to get stuck with all the work in a group project, I can assign everybody tasks so that we all do an equal amount of work.
6. If I study new forms of writing and practice them, I can become a better writer.
7. My friend may have made me angry, but I need to focus on studying because I’ll be even angrier if I let that affect my test grade.
8. I’ll take better notes, go to the tutoring center, and completely focus on school so I can do my best this semester.
9. I’m having trouble filling out the financial aid form, so I’ll go to the Financial Aid office to get some help with it.
10. I need to do my assignments right after school since I don’t have time to do them at night.
1. If I got to campus a little earlier I’d have time to find parking, and make it to class on time.
2. If I view a tutorial online about my class website, or spend some extra time navigating it, I can excel in my online class.
3. If I work up the courage to ask questions in class I might be helping out other students who are too shy to ask.
4. I may have failed my first test, but if I find my own ways to learn the material, I can study and ace all my tests
5. If I don’t want to get stuck with all the work in a group project, I can assign everybody tasks so that we all do an equal amount of work.
6. If I study new forms of writing and practice them, I can become a better writer.
7. My friend may have made me angry, but I need to focus on studying because I’ll be even angrier if I let that affect my test grade.
8. I’ll take better notes, go to the tutoring center, and completely focus on school so I can do my best this semester.
9. I’m having trouble filling out the financial aid form, so I’ll go to the Financial Aid office to get some help with it.
10. I need to do my assignments right after school since I don’t have time to do them at night.
3. Write what you have learned or relearned about how you use language: Is it your habit to speak as Victim or as a Creator? Do you find yourself more inclined to blame yourself, blame others, or seek solutions?
While reading about practicing Creator language I learned that I tend to speak Victim Language more often. I think I speak Victim Language more often because its easier to be a Victim than a Creator. Being a Victim allows you to put the blame on others and in a sense brainwash yourself into thinking nothing is your fault, therefore there is no resolution to your problem. Being a Creator takes responsibility and courage to admit your wrongs and what you need to do to fix them. I'm not saying I am a complete Victim because there are times where I do "man up" and admit when I'm in the wrong, but I need to become fluent in Creator Language. Being fluent in Creator Language is the only way I am going to successfully make it through this world becausr resolutions solve problems, excuses don't. My goal is to stop being the victim and take action against the issues I want to fix. I plan on accomplishing this goal by focusing on school, getting a job, and successfully making my way throughout college and eventually leading to my career.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Self- Assesment Test Results, Journal #1 & Journal #3
Results from Self-Assessment Activity from Downing On Course
Student: Amber Villa
Instructor: Kate O'Brien
Course: Counseling 151
45 -Score #1: Accepting Personal Responsibility
45 -Score #2: Discovering Self-Motivation
39 -Score #3: Mastering Self-Management
55 -Score #4: Employing Interdependence
54 -Score #5: Gaining Self-Awareness
38 -Score #6: Adopting Lifelong Learning
21 -Score #7: Developing Emotional Intelligence
38 -Score #8: Believing in Myself
Scores Within This Range Indicate
0 - 39 ...an area where your choices will seldom get you on course.
40 - 63 ...an area where your choices will sometimes get you on course.
64 - 80 ...an area where your choices will usually keep you on course.
Journal Entry #1
In this activity, you will take an inventory of your personal strengths and weaknesses as revealed by your self-assessment questionnaire.
1. Write about the areas on the self-assessment in which you had your highest scores.
By doing the self-assessment, I learned that my two highest strengths
were Employing Interdependence and Gaining Self-Awareness. I think I
scored high in these categories because I enjoy working with others and
would rather work or study on a team/group rather than alone. I like
group work because i feel that others can help me understand what i
need to accomplish and provide insight on how I can do better on the
task that needs to be completed. In high school, Anatomy was very easy
for me because I had an excellent teacher who believed highly in group
work and had games and short sayings to help us remember the
information we needed for our tests. It really benefited me in the end
because he made it so easy for us to remember information that I was
completing the test in a matter of 15 minutes and acing all of them. I
am pretty aware of my capabilities and what I have to offer, and in the
same sense, i know my weaknesses and i know what i need to do to fix
them. I usually think before I act or speak and I try to be conscious and
think about the long term effects my choices can have on myself and
others, I have a great memory, and when I am on task I know what I
need to do and I can produce very efficient work. I also know that I have
tendencies to procrastinate and be lazy but I feel that my strengths can
help me overcome my weaknesses and eventually turn my weaknesses
into strengths as well.
2. Write about the areas of the self-assessment in which you had your lowest scores.
By doing the self-assessment, I learned that the 2 categories I scored
lowest in were Developing Emotional Intelligence and Adopting Lifelong
Learning. I think I scored low in these categories because I'm not that
good at managing time, money, or my priorities. I tend to let the "wants"
come before the "needs". I admit that I have put fun before my studies
and it has hurt me in the end. In High School Economics and Government
just were not my subjects. It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn't
understand it so I started developing a negative attitude. I figured, I'm not
gonna do well anyway so why even bother. I completely pushed those
subjects to the side and treated them as if they weren't there. Then one
time I just decided to fully apply myself and I ended up getting a B plus
on my test. The highest score I have ever gotten. That B plus was the
best motivation to get me to care about that class. Like I mentioned
before, I know my weaknesses and what I need to do to fix them, it's just
a matter of me stopping my laziness, putting the fun aside, and cracking
down on what I need to do. I realize that I am now in College and the
high school games won't fly here, therefore, I am completely committed
to changing my negative view on life, to a positive view, and utilizing my
skills to the best of their ability.
Journal Entry #3
In this activity, you will explore your strengths and weaknesses and the reputation you have with yourself. This exploration of your self-esteem will allow you to begin revising any limiting beliefs you may hold about yourself. By doing so you will take a major step toward your success.
1. In your journal, write a list of ten or more of your personal strengths.
- I have a great memory
- I am caring and compassionate
- I am efficient and care about the work i do.
- I have a good reputation
- I am friendly and enjoy meeting new people
- I am open-minded and willing to learn
- I can read and type fast
- I am able to make people laugh and cheer them up
- I have always gotten good grades
- I am always willing to help someone in need
- I'm not physically fit
- I procrastinate as much as I can
- I can be very lazy at times
- My feelings get hurt easily
- I'm short-tempered and defensive
- I let my bad attitude get the best of me
- I have a negative outlook on like rather than positive
- I'm argumentative
- I get discouraged easily
- I envy those who know what they want in life.
Based on my personal strengths, weaknesses, and my score for #8 on the self-assessment, I'd rate my self-esteem at about a 7. I am not completely unsatisfied with myself but then again I am not completely satisfied with who I am right now. I know I have great potential and that I can be this amazingly together, and organized young woman. I'll admit I let my weaknesses overpower my strengths. My main weaknesses are laziness and procrastination. For some reason I've had this mentality that everything would just fall into place after graduation, but I know it takes work and a lot from me to become the person I want to be. Overall I think I have a good self-esteem. I do have some insecurities but then again everybody does. I used to dwell on what I didn't have rather than being thankful and acknowledging everything I was blessed with. I think my self-esteem got to where it's at right now because of me. Its nobodies fault but mine. I wasn't caring enough to better myself or even attempting to go that extra mile. For some reason I've always been okay with being mediocre and just getting by, but now that I'm getting into my adulthood, I want more out of my life. When I was in school and in sports, my teachers and coaches always told me I had great potential and that I could be so much better if I just applied myself but to be honest I didn't really care. Average has always been okay for me but I know in the real world employers aren't looking for "Average" people. In order for me to achieve my ideal self-esteem I need to stop being lazy, stop procrastinating, and stop seeing myself as a victim with no control over what happens. I know I can do it with a little motivation and a little guidance.
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